Reduce, Reuse, Re-Detonate

I read a story in USA Today yesterday (actually “story” is too big a word, this was more of a blurb buried in the margins) about a series of explosions that occurred inside a bomb recycling plant in Louisiana this week. Okay, first of all, in this spectacle-fueled society, why was that one not all over the front page? People live for stories with explosions. Especially ones that occur right in our own back yard.

Second of all, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as bomb recycling plants in this county. I didn’t know there was such a thing as bomb recycling. Exactly what kinds of bombs do these people recycle and what, pray tell, do they make with the leftover components? Firecrackers? Presto logs? Cap guns? Apparently this plant recycles old military bombs. I assume we’re not talking about nukes here, but are they the kind that look like old cannon balls with fuses on them? Are these like plastic explosives? …and if so, which number is printed inside the little triangle on the bottom?

But more to the point, who signs up for this particular job? What are the qualifications one needs to recycle bombs? What sorts of interests and aptitudes would a high school student need to demonstrate for a guidance counselor to point him down the road of bomb recycling? And what kind of salary would you need to pull down before you agreed to something like this? Oh I’m sure they have safety guidelines in place at this recycling plant, but dang, a place like that is (forgive the unfortunate turn of phrase) a ticking timebomb… which they probably refurbish into a watch or something before the timer goes to zero.

But the thing that is really… REALLY funny about this story—the explosions forced police to evacuate two schools in the area.

Seriously… no I mean seriously… WHO BUILDS A BOMB RECYLING PLANT NEAR A FREAKIN’ SCHOOL?