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	<title>BrianHodges.net &#187; being a grownup</title>
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	<link>http://brianhodges.net</link>
	<description>The Blog of Brian Hodges</description>
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		<title>Fun Uncle &gt; Creepy Uncle</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2010/06/23/fun-uncle-creepy-uncle/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2010/06/23/fun-uncle-creepy-uncle/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:37:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a parent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[board game reviews]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=394</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;m exaggerating when I say that, in addition to being the World&#8217;s Greatest Dad (and I&#8217;ve got the mug to prove it), I also qualify for the role of World&#8217;s Funnest Uncle**.  But as one comedian put it, there is a very thin line between &#8220;fun uncle&#8221; and &#8220;creepy uncle&#8221;&#8230; or words [...]]]></description>
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		<title>I Have a Confession To Make</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2010/04/12/i-have-a-confession-to-make/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2010/04/12/i-have-a-confession-to-make/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:47:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a consumer of media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For several years, I thought Obi Wan Kenobi was describing the destruction of Alderaan as &#8220;millions of OYSTERS crying out in terror and suddenly silenced.&#8221;  For those three of you who don&#8217;t know what I&#8217;m talking about, the real word is supposed to be &#8220;voices.&#8221; Now, what&#8217;s weirder to me, weirder than the fact that [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>She&#8217;s Dumb-tastic</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2009/03/17/shes-dumb-tastic/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2009/03/17/shes-dumb-tastic/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2009 02:25:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a consumer of media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a parent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dumbo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=313</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s amazing how your kids will just randomly give you new and completely amazing reasons to love them.  And new and amazing examples what unique individuals they are.  The girl received the movie Dumbo for Christmas and has watched it several times since.  But when she asks to watch it, she doesn&#8217;t ask to watch [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Squiggly pixels&#8230; why did it have to be squiggly pixels?</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2009/01/22/squiggly-pixels-why-did-it-have-to-be-squiggly-pixels/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2009/01/22/squiggly-pixels-why-did-it-have-to-be-squiggly-pixels/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:37:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video game geeks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[atari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coleco]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ebay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[indiana jones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[raiders of the lost ark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video games]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=296</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Continuing with the theme of video games from yesterday, the very first eBay purchase I ever made was a used Atari 2600. The year was 1999 and I was twenty-one. And yes, I realize in my previous blog I made it pretty clear just how much of a colossal loser you had to be to [...]]]></description>
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		<title>So are regular Geeks now Geekers?</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2009/01/21/so-are-regular-geeks-now-geekers/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2009/01/21/so-are-regular-geeks-now-geekers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jan 2009 20:42:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video game geeks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[geeks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mario bros]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mario brothers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mario kart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nintendo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video games]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wii]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=291</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[At what point did video games suddenly become cool? When I was a kid you played video games until (and ONLY until) you or one of your friends got a drivers license, at which point you said, “Screw Mario Brothers, I’ve got better things to do.” Personally I always looked forward to the day when [...]]]></description>
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		<title>I think I walk like a Dork</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/31/i-think-i-walk-like-a-dork/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/31/i-think-i-walk-like-a-dork/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:29:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dork]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[insecurity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[walking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=57</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The first time I saw Grease, the summer after third grade, I wanted to walk like Danny Zuko. He just had this… swagger, with all this up-and-down arm motion, as though the bones from his heel to his shoulder were fused together. So, I practiced. Yes, I actually practiced walking. Swing the leg up, lift the shoulder, and bring them back down… It was an exhausting routine. John Travolta must have trained for months for that role! I tried to get my friends to join me, but they hadn't seen the movie and didn't realize just how cool I was trying to make them. Wiped out, I too gave up after a week.

By fifth grade—right around the time we all started thinking girls were pretty rad—I had become obsessed with how I looked while walking. I'd be playing outfield in kickball (nobody would let me near a base), then have to come in when it was our turn to kick. I'd start running then quickly realize that it made me look too excited. So I'd downshift, walking casually as if to say, "Hey I'm walking, but I don't care." Suddenly I'd be critiquing how my feet and legs were moving in conjunction with the rest of my body. Bend your knees more. Should my arms be swinging? No, keep them still. But then I'll look too stiff. This can't look right can it? I decided that maybe running was, in fact, the lesser of two evils.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>My days of childhood violence</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/31/my-days-of-childhood-violence/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/31/my-days-of-childhood-violence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:05:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[violence]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=54</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In second grade, we were asked to draw a picture and write a paragraph describing what we wanted to be when we grew up. There were your standards: teachers, doctors, firemen. A couple ambitious kids drew a robotics engineer and President of the United States. I freaked my teacher mildly out when I said I wanted to be a "Spy." I drew myself in army fatigues and war paint with guns and ammo strapped to every inch of my body. I had a bow and arrow slung over my shoulder and throwing stars tucked into the cuffs of my pants (because I was also, apparently, part Ninja).

According to my paragraph, I wanted to be a spy because "you get to sneak into enemy forts and shoot people with guns and blow up buildings with bombs and exploding arrows." It’s probably not surprising that I had recently seen Rambo for the first time. A kid pulling a stunt like this today would probably get a three-day suspension. I didn’t even get a talking-to, just my mom asking me why I didn’t want to be an astronaut anymore.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Toilet Humor</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/30/toilet-humor/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/30/toilet-humor/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 22:01:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bathroom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[public bathrooms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toilet humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=28</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ever had somebody walk in on you while you were sitting on the toilet? Isn't that embarrassing? Doesn't your face just turn bright red? I'll bet you get really mad at the person don't you? Well guess what. I got no sympathy for you, bub. You have obviously never taken the time to learn proper toilet privacy defenses. It's your own fault that somebody saw you doing number two.

I grew up in a house where the only doors that locked were the main entrances. The bedrooms didn't lock. Neither did the bathroom. In fact, the bathroom door didn't even shut tight. All it took was a cat's paw to push the thing open. I had a father and a younger sister who were not prone to knocking before entering a room. But in spite of all these perils working against me, not one person in almost thirty years of potty training has caught me making pee pees or poo poos.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Dewey Decimal Surfing</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/30/dewey-decimal-surfing/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/30/dewey-decimal-surfing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:39:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dewey decimal system]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[libraries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[library]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[research]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=12</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I haven't done real library research since high school. Has anybody? Of course, even in high school, a pubescent boy's idea of research was pulling out the "B" volume from the medical texts and ogling the pictures of naked ladies with your friends. I feel lost just walking into a library now. Did you know that they don't use card catalogues anymore? There are a lot of books in there. How does anybody get anything done?

Two factors contributed to my loss of library skills. First, my graduation from high school coincided perfectly with the great internet explosion. Second, I was a Film/Television major at a college for "Communications and the Performing Arts." My final exam was "go make a movie." Typical homework consisted of, "Watch Independence Day and write a critique." Any research I ever needed was found on countless web pages from the comfort of my dorm room. Some of them were even nice enough to list book references so I didn’t need to open them. I'd make up a bibliography, turn in my "Comparison of A Weekend at Bernie's and Hamlet" then go watch X-Files.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Bee Prepared</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/30/bee-prepared/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/30/bee-prepared/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:35:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[insects]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[phobia]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=8</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The next person who tells me to "Ignore the bee," is getting punched in the mouth. "Just sit still. If you leave it alone, it'll go away. Swatting only makes it angry. Running, shrieking and whimpering will only get you stung." I don't care what any of you say. When a bee comes within a reasonable distance (read: when I can see or hear it), I am going to do everything in my power to keep it as far away from me as possible. I don't care how ridiculous I look. I've done the sitting still thing. Believe me, I've done the sitting still thing.

I was probably no more than four at the time. My parents had taken us out for ice cream. Riding home in the back, contentedly licking my bubble-gum scoop and picking out the little pieces of gum for later, my perfect enjoyment was suddenly put on hold when I noticed a bee on my arm. Whether it had been attracted by the sugary smell or it just wanted to look tough by picking on a small child, I'll never know. I could already feel the tears of horror welling up inside as I squeaked out, "Mom, there's a bee on me." Mom assured me to just sit still and it would fly away. So I did. I trusted her as only a child can. I trusted her as I watched the bee crawl up my arm. I trusted her as I watched the bee crawl inside my shirt. I trusted her as I felt the bee crawl around on my chest. I trusted her right up until the instant when the bee got stuck, freaked out and then stung me.]]></description>
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