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	<title>BrianHodges.net &#187; being a ridiculous human being</title>
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	<description>The Blog of Brian Hodges</description>
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		<title>In a perfect world</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2010/07/21/in-a-perfect-world/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2010/07/21/in-a-perfect-world/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jul 2010 19:35:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=432</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8230;one in which cash and calories mattered not, I would be perpetually almost out of pie.]]></description>
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		<title>SKIN!</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2010/07/05/skin/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2010/07/05/skin/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Jul 2010 01:50:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a parent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=417</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Can we talk penises for a minute? Part of being the husband of a midwife means you’re pretty much piped in to every conceivable controversial issue that is in any way related to pregnancy, childbirth and parenting.  C-sections, homebirth, vaccines, co-sleeping, breast-feeding, best hemp strollers for hippies and of course, the pros and cons (mostly [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Fun Uncle &gt; Creepy Uncle</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2010/06/23/fun-uncle-creepy-uncle/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2010/06/23/fun-uncle-creepy-uncle/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:37:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a parent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[board game reviews]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=394</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;m exaggerating when I say that, in addition to being the World&#8217;s Greatest Dad (and I&#8217;ve got the mug to prove it), I also qualify for the role of World&#8217;s Funnest Uncle**.  But as one comedian put it, there is a very thin line between &#8220;fun uncle&#8221; and &#8220;creepy uncle&#8221;&#8230; or words [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Leave Miley Alone!  Leave&#8217;er ALONE!</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2010/06/14/leave-miley-alone-leaveer-alone/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2010/06/14/leave-miley-alone-leaveer-alone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Jun 2010 16:37:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a consumer of media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a parent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=378</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I should come clean right off the bat.  I freakin&#8217; LOVE Miley Cyrus.  I think her music is catchy.  I think her TV show is pretty damn hilarious.  I think she&#8217;s a cute kid and, if her performance a few weeks back on Dancing with the Stars is anything to go by, she&#8217;s going to [...]]]></description>
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		<title>I Have a Confession To Make</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2010/04/12/i-have-a-confession-to-make/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2010/04/12/i-have-a-confession-to-make/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:47:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a consumer of media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For several years, I thought Obi Wan Kenobi was describing the destruction of Alderaan as &#8220;millions of OYSTERS crying out in terror and suddenly silenced.&#8221;  For those three of you who don&#8217;t know what I&#8217;m talking about, the real word is supposed to be &#8220;voices.&#8221; Now, what&#8217;s weirder to me, weirder than the fact that [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Veggie, not the Urine</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2009/09/01/the-veggie-not-the-urine/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2009/09/01/the-veggie-not-the-urine/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:08:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a consumer of media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a parent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=357</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Allison and I have been reading &#8220;The Tale of Despereaux&#8221; before bed for the last few nights. First off, it&#8217;s an amazing book so far. I find I&#8217;M getting to the ends of chapters and saying to Allison, &#8220;You wanna read just one more?&#8221; But the name of the human Princess in this book&#8217;s name [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Orange you glad?</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2009/08/19/orange-you-glad/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2009/08/19/orange-you-glad/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:55:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a parent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[knock knock jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=336</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ask anyone with a four- to ten-year-old and they’ll tell you: Knock-Knock jokes are the bane of a parent’s existence.  I’ll take the three-year-old “why why why” phase any day over the Knock-Knock phase. It’s not just that Knock-Knock jokes are inherently unfunny.  But because the setup is so dang simple, kids feel like it [...]]]></description>
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		<title>So are regular Geeks now Geekers?</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2009/01/21/so-are-regular-geeks-now-geekers/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2009/01/21/so-are-regular-geeks-now-geekers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jan 2009 20:42:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video game geeks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[geeks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mario bros]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mario brothers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mario kart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nintendo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video games]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wii]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=291</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[At what point did video games suddenly become cool? When I was a kid you played video games until (and ONLY until) you or one of your friends got a drivers license, at which point you said, “Screw Mario Brothers, I’ve got better things to do.” Personally I always looked forward to the day when [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>I think I walk like a Dork</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/31/i-think-i-walk-like-a-dork/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/31/i-think-i-walk-like-a-dork/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:29:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dork]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[insecurity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[walking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=57</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The first time I saw Grease, the summer after third grade, I wanted to walk like Danny Zuko. He just had this… swagger, with all this up-and-down arm motion, as though the bones from his heel to his shoulder were fused together. So, I practiced. Yes, I actually practiced walking. Swing the leg up, lift the shoulder, and bring them back down… It was an exhausting routine. John Travolta must have trained for months for that role! I tried to get my friends to join me, but they hadn't seen the movie and didn't realize just how cool I was trying to make them. Wiped out, I too gave up after a week.

By fifth grade—right around the time we all started thinking girls were pretty rad—I had become obsessed with how I looked while walking. I'd be playing outfield in kickball (nobody would let me near a base), then have to come in when it was our turn to kick. I'd start running then quickly realize that it made me look too excited. So I'd downshift, walking casually as if to say, "Hey I'm walking, but I don't care." Suddenly I'd be critiquing how my feet and legs were moving in conjunction with the rest of my body. Bend your knees more. Should my arms be swinging? No, keep them still. But then I'll look too stiff. This can't look right can it? I decided that maybe running was, in fact, the lesser of two evils.]]></description>
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		<title>Bee Prepared</title>
		<link>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/30/bee-prepared/</link>
		<comments>http://brianhodges.net/2008/12/30/bee-prepared/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:35:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>brian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[being a grownup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a kid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a ridiculous human being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[insects]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[phobia]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://brianhodges.net/?p=8</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The next person who tells me to "Ignore the bee," is getting punched in the mouth. "Just sit still. If you leave it alone, it'll go away. Swatting only makes it angry. Running, shrieking and whimpering will only get you stung." I don't care what any of you say. When a bee comes within a reasonable distance (read: when I can see or hear it), I am going to do everything in my power to keep it as far away from me as possible. I don't care how ridiculous I look. I've done the sitting still thing. Believe me, I've done the sitting still thing.

I was probably no more than four at the time. My parents had taken us out for ice cream. Riding home in the back, contentedly licking my bubble-gum scoop and picking out the little pieces of gum for later, my perfect enjoyment was suddenly put on hold when I noticed a bee on my arm. Whether it had been attracted by the sugary smell or it just wanted to look tough by picking on a small child, I'll never know. I could already feel the tears of horror welling up inside as I squeaked out, "Mom, there's a bee on me." Mom assured me to just sit still and it would fly away. So I did. I trusted her as only a child can. I trusted her as I watched the bee crawl up my arm. I trusted her as I watched the bee crawl inside my shirt. I trusted her as I felt the bee crawl around on my chest. I trusted her right up until the instant when the bee got stuck, freaked out and then stung me.]]></description>
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